Journal Pages 5.7.10 and 5.8.10

I've been dreadfully neglectful of my blogging these past months. REAL LIFE decided it would interfere with the Virtual World in which I romp.  It happens to all of us from time to time. The things we must do get in the way of the things we want to do. 


However, no matter what twists and turns come at me the one thing I won't neglect is my art or my art journaling. For without those I would have no soul....


I'm trying to get back in the blogging groove so hopefully you'll all be hearing a lot more from me. Whether you want to or not!  


For your perusing pleasure, two recent journal pages. The first is on Censorship and how people try to censor me but just can't do it.  The second is on what I need in life to be happy. There's really very little I NEED.  Want and need are two very different things therefore, my needs are simple. My WANTS, well that's a different story....

Currently Reading: The Glassblower of Murano by Marina Fiorato 

(reviewing for Library Thing)

Currently Creating to: Stone Temple Pilots: Purple

Blog Love: 

Paris Daily Photo

The Altered Page

Kelly Kilmer (HI KELLY!!!!!!  HUGS!!!!)

Random Journal Pages

It has been a long time since I devoted myself to this blog. My life has undergone a complete restructuring in the past several months and blogging took a backseat to the reality of LIFE.

I feel as if I have gone through a long period of hibernation within my cocoon. A time where deep thinking and self reflection on my life were the total focus. This phase was followed by a period of struggling to break the bonds that held me. The time to cast off that which made me less than WHOLE, made me feel as if I were an empty shell, involved great emotional struggle. yet I know full well that nothing worthwhile in life comes without struggle. Without casting off your old life in order to make room for the life that is waiting for you.

Finally I entered the phase of joyous rebirth of SELF. Of becoming fully ME again. Many things were cast off, relationships that were not what they should be. Thought processes that allowed others to be happy but kept me in sorrow. All things must change, ebb and flow in order to be renewed. From caterpillar to cocoon to vibrant Lunar Moth I have gone and it is my ART, my CORE SPIRIT that helped carry me through.

The pages shown here are a few that show a bit of my renewal, my empowerment and my desire to be fully me again. I hope they inspire you as they inspired me to become myself once again....

9/03/09

10/30/09

12/26/09

Setting Up Shop!

I took the leap and set up an on-line shop! I've been wanting to do so for quite some time now, but always held back. What if I didn't sell anything? What if nobody liked my stuff? What if....??? I would've done it long ago, I could've done it long ago, I should've done it long ago.......

Obviously, a bad case of the "What Ifs" and too much time hanging with the Would've, Could've, Should've Sisters kept me from doing what I wanted to do.

BUT My creative, EMPOWERED self finally kicked the What If crew and the Would've, Could've, Should've Sisters out and told me to JUST DO IT! So, being the ever obedient person I am, I did it.

A new art selling site, ArtFire, was offering a great deal if you signed up. So I went headlong into the fray and created a space there for me. Yes, me! The site is only in BETA right now, live but with glitches galore. But that's OK. As the site managers get up to speed I'll have time to gather my art, photograph it and get it listed.

I did manage to list 3 paintings today,which is all I asked of myself. A few things today, a few tomorrow and in no time a whole lot of stuff. If you want to check it out, click below. In the meantime I'm going to DREAM BIG and make my art sales a reality.

Hopeful Journal Page

My pages are reflecting the hope I hold in my heart for peace in the Middle East and the dreams of hope flowing through my own nation. With the Inauguration behind us I think most Americans are looking toward the future with hope in their hearts.

I never expected to be emotionally moved watching the Inauguration on television. Hell, I'm not the highly emotional type. I rarely get all worked up unless something major is going on in my life. So imagine my shock over the appearance of tears in my eyes. You could've knocked me over with a feather!

If my dad, the die-hard Republican, ever hears that I got all chocked up over a Democrat being sworn in as President he'll probably keel over. Either that or he'll assume I was all choked up because it WAS a Democrat and not a Republican.

January 19th Journal Pages--Gaza

The conflict in Gaza, in the Middle-East in general, has been on my mind a lot lately. There has been conflict in that part of the world for longer than any of us have been alive. WHY???? Why all the killing over land, religion, resources??? We are all human, we are all the same inside. Acceptance of each other's uniqueness is needed. NOW.

A New Beginning

The last 6 months of 2008 were painful ones. Both physically and emotionally. Naturally, the majority of the art I made in that time reflects this. Dark images, vivid splashes of color that signify anger, grief, disbelief, frustration and all the other "dark time of the soul" adjectives you can think of were there in abundance. A group of work that is raw and full of deep emotion ,these pieces helped me to release the darkness so that I could return to the light.

Many people are afraid to let their darkness in for fear that it will take over their lives. I'm not one of them. I know that each one of us is made up of many facets of dark and light. That we all need those times of darkness in order to appreciate the gifts life has to offer. In order to renew our Spirituality and become whole again.

However, the art and journaling I've done for the past few months will remain private for now. Even though I've returned to the light I'm not ready to share the dark parts with the world. With friends and family, yes. With strangers, no. That's just the way I am. I'm definitely not one to expose my wounds to the world at large so they can be examined, poked at or analyzed.

Luckily my brief sojourn through the dark valley of the soul has given me renewed energy. In the past few weeks I've spent many hours working on my art journals, on mixed media paintings and creative pursuits in general. My creativity hasn't been confined to the studio, but has expanded into every room of the house. Sitting on the back porch watching the snow fall while doodling in a journal, curled up on the couch with scissors, glue and an altered book or painting pages in the kitchen while making a pot of soup are some of the creative moments I've enjoyed lately.

My life is FILLED with art. Every aspect of it is being touch by the creative spirit and I feel as if this is a new beginning. A new chapter in my life unfolds as I journey through each day. A desire to blog again, laugh again or share time with friends is what the Yuletide season brought me. I hope the end of the old year and the start of the new was just as good to you.

10 Days Passed

It's been more than 10 days since I've been able to post anything here. In that time period much has happened. Easter morning we had a death in our extended family. My niece's husband's grandfather, who was 90, passed away. Very quietly at home in his bed. My niece's husband is stationed in Iraq and had recently been home on leave so we were unsure if they would allow him to come home for the funeral services. It took a bit of arguing on his part, but the military finally relented and allowed him to come. Once the decision was made they put him on the fast track and had him back on American soil within 24 hours. Although the reason for his coming home is a sad one I have to feel relieved that this gives him 10 more days where he is not in Iraq. Especially this past week where so much turmoil and violence has been going on. When you have a loved one deployed to a volatile area you learn to count your blessings in any way you can.

I've been undergoing a severe amount of pain the past week and a half. I threw my back out, doing something very simple and that, for a person who doesn't have back issues, should of been harmless. But, for me who has had multiple, serious back injuries it proved to be not simple at all, but the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I've been to my chiropractor's four times in the past 8 days and have two more appointments scheduled for this week. However, the pain is not lessening and I am showing all the signs of a herniated disk in my lower back. So an MRI is in in my future and who knows what else after that. It all depends upon what the MRI reveals. I for one hope that it reveals nothing more than severe muscle strain or pinched nerves because the idea of a herniated disk and what measures are needed to fix it are not pleasant.

My art has taken a back seat during this time, but I have been busy doing research on vintage clothing and the best place to sell off some of my collection providing my family with a much needed infusion of ready cash. I have two appointments set up for doing just that. The better of the two is in Cambridge, MA at a shop that pays outright for items they want. The other, in Worcester, MA is a consignment shop that specializes in vintage. The problem with consignment is the waiting for items to sell and the shop taking 60% of all sales. It makes it a bit more difficult to make serious money when more than half of it never makes it to your pocket.

I have managed to get some painting done on a pair of jeans and on a leather purse. All the painting has been done with my handy bed tray and my basket of fabric paints while I sit up in bed. Not the best way to work, but it keeps me in bed resting and helps my hands and mind stay busy.

Life is a funny thing. You never know what it will throw at you or when. Some people, when faced with adversity or challenging times focus on the negative and let the events suppress them. Others, like me, tend to look at each challenge as an opportunity to find the hidden blessings or reinvent the way things are done. Like the Pop's death. Instead of looking at it as a totally sad occasion I choose to look at it as a way of getting Andy out of Iraq for a while. Even if that time is short and has an element of sadness surrounding it. My back being thrown out is a chance for me to make phone calls, explore places to sell my vintage items and get a bit of art done.

I have an i-pod loaded up with music, a fresh cup of vanilla tea, my basket of paints and plenty of imagination. These are the things that will get me through these trying times. That and my wonderful, supportive family who picks up the slack and offers support during times of trouble and need.

Look around you and count your blessings. See the gifts every situation has to offer, even if those gifts are not easily discerned. Even the most difficult situations offer us some form of blessing. Some small gift to help us expand and grow. You just need to know how to look. See the glass as half full. See the blessing in each day, in each moment. It's either that or let life get you down. Let yourself be a victim of circumstance. For me the choice is easy. I'm going for the blessings for when you do they expand, grow, flourish and create abundance in every area of your life.

Goddess Bless.

Change is good, but....

For a long time now I've been looking for a smaller table to use in my studio. Although I love the 6' table I have in there now the space I have available is really too small for it. The table takes up so much room I don't have any room for storage, which is definitely an issue. Today someone was offering an old wooden desk on our local free-cycle group and I jumped at the chance to get it. The dimensions are perfect, the desk has drawers to store some smaller items in and it will allow me a bit more space to add some shelves or a storage unit.

However, getting the desk into the studio is a major ordeal. You can't just pick up the desk, carry it upstairs and put it into place. In order to even get it in the studio a major overhaul is needed. I have a large bookcase filled with my art books and some supplies. Of course, the bookcase location prevents the studio door from opening all the way so it now needs to be completely unloaded and moved. If that weren't enough, I needed to clean off my old table and cart the things out of the room so the table can be dragged away from the wall, folded down and removed from the room.

If that weren't enough, all the items I have stored in clear plastic bins have to be moved and I have to find a new home for them because they won't fit beneath the desk. This is where the storage shelves come into play. We recently removed a shelving unit that has colored plastic bins from my son's room and put storage cubicles in their place. These will now be mine to use in the studio for the bins that formerly lived under my table.

However, before I can move the shelving unit and bins into the studio I have to first get the bookcase out, move all the supplies, bins and assorted things that I just have to have (like the large sheet of black plastic that I keep next to the studio table for those times I'm working on the floor painting fabric), remove the old table, my chair, my small rolling storage unit, my large toolbox full of polymer clay tools, the large moose thigh bone I keep in the studio (don't ask...), my phone that I never use because I don't want to answer it when I'm working and the pile of clothing I'm altering.

In the midst of all this shuffling about of items I collapsed onto the floor, spilling hot tea all over my bed, the supplies I'd just moved into my bedroom and myself. It seems I have a 101 fever and am actually rather ill.

So, the simple act of getting a free desk for use in my studio has led to a major amount of work, a mess far larger than what I had before and my collapsing on the floor and being ordered to bed. Obviously the ordering to bed part didn't take or I wouldn't be sitting here writing in this blog.
The point of all this? Change is good, but sometimes it leads to a lot of work you hadn't anticipated. However, once the work is done you can enjoy the changes and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.