Journal Pages

  Today is going to be a babbling day. If you prefer to skip the babbling and go straight to the art, go right ahead. I'll never know....  
    It's been a busy week for me. For whatever reason, late autumn is the time I feel most compelled to clean and clear. For three days now I've been going through closets, drawers and cabinets cleaning them out and amassing piles of things to donate. Clothes and shoes mostly. Or rather boots. The women in my family seem to have a hoarding issue when it comes to boots. Especially black boots. I'm not sure what it is about boots, black boots in particular, that we love so much. This love, and hoarding issue, carries over to coats too. I in particular have a weakness for vintage wool coats that I find at the Salvation Army. Something in me cannot possibly leave a vintage 1950's red wool coat with black cuffs and collar or a 1947 full length black wool pea coat to languish, unappreciated, at the thrift store. So I, of course, buy them, usually for less than $10.00, give them a good cleaning and wear them with pride. And love. Lots and lots of love. But I digress...
    What is it about late autumn that makes me want to get every nook and cranny of the house in order? I believe it's an instinctual knowing from deep inside. I know that the cold, dark days and nights are upon us and my time will focus on indoors. Somewhere inside I know indoors needs to be tidied up, swept free of summer's energy and made cozy for the long months ahead. For me, all this must be done before Samhain, October 31. As a pagan, Samhain is one of my most sacred and important seasonal celebrations. It's the time we say good bye to the harvest, give thanks for the abundance of summer, welcome back our ancestors and focus our hearts, minds and spirits on the darkness ahead. It's really a time of renewal and reflection for me and others who dance the spiral of nature based beliefs. Which completely explains why every year I am compelled to cleanse, purge and release that which is no longer needed.

Tiny journal pages, 4.5" x 7".
The one on the left was created using Neocolor II crayons on 9/30/11
The one on the right was created with collage and Gellyroll pens on 4/29/11

Another tiny journal page created with collage and Gellyroll pen on 10/9/11

Page created with collage, ink jet transfer, Sparkling H2O's, and Gellyroll pen
on 10/10/11

Our Dia de los Muertos offerings for the Spirits of those who've passed before us. Both 2-legged and 4-legged

Random Journal Pages

It has been a long time since I devoted myself to this blog. My life has undergone a complete restructuring in the past several months and blogging took a backseat to the reality of LIFE.

I feel as if I have gone through a long period of hibernation within my cocoon. A time where deep thinking and self reflection on my life were the total focus. This phase was followed by a period of struggling to break the bonds that held me. The time to cast off that which made me less than WHOLE, made me feel as if I were an empty shell, involved great emotional struggle. yet I know full well that nothing worthwhile in life comes without struggle. Without casting off your old life in order to make room for the life that is waiting for you.

Finally I entered the phase of joyous rebirth of SELF. Of becoming fully ME again. Many things were cast off, relationships that were not what they should be. Thought processes that allowed others to be happy but kept me in sorrow. All things must change, ebb and flow in order to be renewed. From caterpillar to cocoon to vibrant Lunar Moth I have gone and it is my ART, my CORE SPIRIT that helped carry me through.

The pages shown here are a few that show a bit of my renewal, my empowerment and my desire to be fully me again. I hope they inspire you as they inspired me to become myself once again....

9/03/09

10/30/09

12/26/09

April 4, 2009 Journal Page

I haven't been feeling very happy lately. This bothered me for a while. I kept thinking 'What is WRONG with me? Why can't I be happy????' This morning it came to me, like a slap upside the head from the Powers That Be. There is NOTHING wrong with not feeling happy every moment of every day. In fact, it would be even stranger if I, we, YOU, did all experience happiness like that. We're human beings and our emotional state is not static. Our emotions ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean. Sometimes the flow is gentle, caressing, like a kiss from a lover in our youths. Sometimes it is tumultuous, raging, like the waves during a hurricane. And that's OK.

In fact, it is more than OK. It's the way it suppose to be. Which makes me wonder: Why do so many people spend their lives trying to convince themselves and others how happy they are? How totally and absolutely wonderful their lives are with nothing getting in the way of their joyous overflowing of happiness????? I know a lot of people like this. They spend so much time talking about how great their lives are, how they have happiness beyond measure, etc. etc. but you know what? I'm not buying it. No one can be that totally happy at all times. No one's life is so great that they never have a moment of sadness or a moment where they wish things were slightly better. Unless of course they're on mood altering drugs and even then I don't think they'd be totally happy.

Right now I say to you: Admit that you are not always happy. Give yourself permission to be sad once in a while. I'm not talking depressive, taking over your life sadness. I'm talking sadness that comes to you once in a while. The cyclic kind that's caused by stress, illness, a rotten job, LIFE in general. It's OK to be unhappy. The unhappy moments in our lives show us what happiness truly is. It makes us step back and look for the blessings in our lives, no matter how small. It's a necessary emotion that we, as humans, need. If we didn't have that then we wouldn't be here. We'd have ascended to a higher plane of existence where happiness and perfect balance are the norm. In other words, we'd cease to be human and become a Higher Being. Angel, Spirit, Light-Bearer, whatever you want to call it or believe in. A fine goal to be sure, but right now, at this very moment, I prefer to be human. To jump into the Void of my sadness and see what happens. Embrace the emotion and learn from it. And by doing so, I know that happiness will return.

I'm reading 'The Sixteen Pleasures' by Robert Hellenga right now. I have to say it is totally captivating! I've only read 59 pages so far, but in those 59 pages there have been many Wow moments that have made me stop and think. I highly recommend picking up a copy, reading it slowly and taking the time to mull over what has been revealed. And don't let the description of the book fool you. It is far more than a novel dealing with art treasures that were almost lost in a flood. There's life wisdom there. Deep, raw, personal and zen-like wisdom that makes you want to roll the words around in your mouth, tasting them to their fullest.

Recent Journal Pages

Some of the journal pages I've done this month. I've been doing two each day, one for each of the two journals I'm currently working in. The pages shown are all from one journal. When I get a chance I'll snap photos of the ones in the other journal so they can be uploaded.

PEN RANT: What the heck is up with Sakura Glaze pens???? A month or so ago I received an entire batch of them that were leaking from the top of the pen barrel (where the pen and tip are put together). Those were replaced and had been OK for a while, but tonight I grabbed a few out of my bin and discovered that they were leaking too. I've NEVER had this issue before with Sakura pens and am not amused to be having it now.

The Soufflé and regular Gelly Roll pens are fine. It's just the Glaze pens that leak. Very frustrating as I have a TON of these pens and use them ALL the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A New Beginning

The last 6 months of 2008 were painful ones. Both physically and emotionally. Naturally, the majority of the art I made in that time reflects this. Dark images, vivid splashes of color that signify anger, grief, disbelief, frustration and all the other "dark time of the soul" adjectives you can think of were there in abundance. A group of work that is raw and full of deep emotion ,these pieces helped me to release the darkness so that I could return to the light.

Many people are afraid to let their darkness in for fear that it will take over their lives. I'm not one of them. I know that each one of us is made up of many facets of dark and light. That we all need those times of darkness in order to appreciate the gifts life has to offer. In order to renew our Spirituality and become whole again.

However, the art and journaling I've done for the past few months will remain private for now. Even though I've returned to the light I'm not ready to share the dark parts with the world. With friends and family, yes. With strangers, no. That's just the way I am. I'm definitely not one to expose my wounds to the world at large so they can be examined, poked at or analyzed.

Luckily my brief sojourn through the dark valley of the soul has given me renewed energy. In the past few weeks I've spent many hours working on my art journals, on mixed media paintings and creative pursuits in general. My creativity hasn't been confined to the studio, but has expanded into every room of the house. Sitting on the back porch watching the snow fall while doodling in a journal, curled up on the couch with scissors, glue and an altered book or painting pages in the kitchen while making a pot of soup are some of the creative moments I've enjoyed lately.

My life is FILLED with art. Every aspect of it is being touch by the creative spirit and I feel as if this is a new beginning. A new chapter in my life unfolds as I journey through each day. A desire to blog again, laugh again or share time with friends is what the Yuletide season brought me. I hope the end of the old year and the start of the new was just as good to you.

The Spiritual Side

I'm not a religious person, but I have a deeply spiritual side. I believe that religion and spirituality are two separate things and that one can be a spiritual person without being a religious one and vice versa. I know not everyone thinks the way I do, but my beliefs are just that: my beliefs. What others believe is entirely up to them. It's not for me to judge, just as I expect to not be judged by others. Granted, this isn't always the case because people DO judge. I've found that deeply spiritual people tend to be less judgmental than some of the others and the ones who can't be wouldn't care for what anyone else has to say anyways so why give them any thought?

I have several areas in my home and yard devoted to my spiritual side. Little altars created from things that I find sacred and meaningful. Not dictated by any one belief system, but by what I have come to believe in. The newest of these spiritual areas was created by my son and me. We choose the location together, assembled it together and enjoy it together. What better way to celebrate spirituality than to share the beauty of nature with someone you love?

I find doing that a great blessing. A gift of love. From me to my son, my son to me and from both of us to the Goddess Above.